8 Song Lyrics Our Kids Won’t Understand
Posted on June 25th, 2012 by admin
Ah, the good old generation gap: best exploited through music. Just like we don’t “get” why our parents listened to songs about living in yellow submarines, there are a few song lyrics that are absolutely going to baffle our kids. Let’s take a look…
1. “Shake it like a Polaroid picture.” (Outkast, “Hey Ya”) Let’s just forget
about the fact that you aren’t even supposed to shake Polaroids; this was both a clever dance move and lyric back in 2004. Unfortunately, these cameras were discontinued in early 2008. In fact, by the time our kids are old enough to take pictures, developing film will also be a thing of the past. Maybe digital cameras, too. They’ll still be loving Instagram, though, won’t they?
2. “I’m at a payphone trying to phone home, all of my change I spent on you.” (Maroon 5, “Payphone”) We will all be telling our kids one day that pay phones were irrelevant even when this song was popular. What was Adam Levine thinking?! “I’m holding my iPhone trying to phone home” doesn’t sound as romantic I guess.
3. “Video killed the radio star.” (The Buggles, “Video Killed the Radio Star”) Back in the late 70’s, when music videos were just being born, people were excited to tune into their MTV and see their favorite singers in action. What would be today’s equivalent? YouTube killed the music video? The Real World and The Jersey Shore killed the music video channel? Something about Spotify?
4. “Here’s a quarter, call someone who cares.” (Travis Tritt, “Here’s a Quarter”) Sort of similar to number 2. The quarter was begot by the calling card, which was begot by the cell phone. Will calling people even exist by the time our kids listen to this song? Would they tell someone to text, email, or tweet at someone who cares?
5. “I beez in the trap.” (Nicki Minaj, “Beez in the Trap) Well, does anyone understand this now? Or anything she raps about? (For the record, the phrase actually means “getting money.”)
6. “The dudes are lining up ‘cuz they hear we got swagger / But we kick em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger.” (Ke$ha, “Tik Tok”) There are two things to address here. First: swagger. Hopefully no one will say this anymore by the time our kids are old enough to question the lyrics. They will wonder, however, why would anyone have wanted to sleep with Mick Jagger in 2011? He is (was) old and creepy.
7. “All the other kids with the pumped up kicks / you better run faster than my bullet.” (Foster the People, “Pumped Up Kicks”) Fashion trends to fade in and fade out, so maybe there will be a new iteration of the Reebok Pump 20 years from now. Or maybe there won’t be, and kids will be laughing at us for thinking our basketball game could improve by pumping some air into our shoes.
8. “Just a shy guy looking for a two-ply Hefty bag to hold my love.” (Train, “Drive By) Let’s just ignore the fact that this may very well be the worst song lyric ever. Our hope for the future is that Hefty bags and landfills will be a thing of the past because science has thought of a way to sprinkle something onto trash to make it disintegrate or disappear into thin air. So when little Clembough is old enough to listen to this song, he will wonder what a Hefty bag is and why it needed to be so thick.
Honorable Mention: Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen will always be flawless (even though the future’s lyrics would have it sound more like: “Text Me Maybe.”)
Have any others to add to the mix? Leave them in the comments!